My Tales of Food Serving

Today was my very first iftar at the mosque for this Ramadan. I avoid eating at the mosque for several reasons. Mostly because the food almost always disappoints. So why the humiliation when good' ol Micky D's is just around the corner? A big mac in this case is totally halal.

I promised myself that I wouldn't get involved in serving food and all the humiliations attached to the dirty job. You know? Aunties breaking the rules, Arab mothers stealing meat when food servers aren't looking and the two way lines many women form due to hunger and starvation because abstaining another minute from food after a 14 hour fast WOULD JUST BE TOO MUCH. Ya know?

I got to our dining hall area a little early. I fixed my plate and sat at the table ready to indulge. I gave the area a quick skim to make sure I wasn't the only glutinous Muslim in the house. But then came the explosion of fasting Muslims from the prayer hall ready to eat. Suddenly the two large buffet tables on the women's side were attacked from every direction and were no longer visible to the human eye. Things got bad when a lady grabbed a tray of rice and made a run for it.

So I felt it was time for a Godly/Islamic intervention: "Sisters, please form a line from here and the sister hogging the soup, step aside and surrender your spoon!"

I will confess, people were gracious about everything and order was restored immediately with a few tweaks. Here are my favorite moments of the evening.

**
Me: "Salamu alaikum sister. Care to try this?"
Sister #1: "Hmm. What is it? Is it good?"
Me: After sniffing the tray and examining its content, "I dare say it might be lamb or maybe goat or beef? There seems to be a lot of bone-oh! and blubber. Care to try some?"
Sister #1: Disappears.

Me: "Salaamu alaikum sister. Want some chicken?"
Sister #2: "Chicken, I don't see any chicken!"
Me: "Yes, this is chicken. Want me to prove it?"
Sister #2: doesn't answer and moves on to next tray.

Me: "Care to try the soup? It's 'Ads."
Sister #3: Shakes head.
Me: "Are you sure? It's really good.You know Daal? It's daal. Really. I promise?
Sister #3: Smiles and so impressed with my urdu skills, takes a bowl.

(later I catch her dumping it in the trash. Did I mention that the food was awful?)

Uncle: "Bring the brother a bottle of water, please"
Me: Tonnes of open water bottles lay wastefully on the tables. I fill one of the half empty bottles from another used bottle. Gross I know but I am green like that!
Five minutes later.
Brother #1: "Something taste weird about the water?"
Me: "Umm. I wonder why?"

It's Ramadan, So Drool!

@Shaz, RE: Craving post.

My Teen Dilemma

I was informed last week by the Sunday School principal that I am the new designated teacher for our youth program. I was somewhat disappointed because I spent a lot of money and time researching materials for my younger students. And here I am now expected to create something creative, fun and educational for the youth with no prior notice and a two week deadline! To say the least I was peeved but later sorta retracted my disappointment when I was reminded they can read and write independently, so essay writing here we COME!

On a more serious note, I have a few kewl ideas to impress my youth--God-willing--but I need your ideas for incentives and motivators. We are using Islamic Tahdib and Akhlaq and Islamic 'Aqidah and Fiqh by B. Aisha Lemu. I am planning to design both youth classes in a more college style type of class. We will have discussion, critical thinking and lots of reflective writing. In addition, we will be working on projects. Lot's of projects. My principal promised to back us up financially for field trips and other resources we might need.

Class set-up:

We will alternate between books and topics. Weekly they will have a brief reading assignment and reflective journal to go with their reading. They will have 30-45 minute group discussion where one person will lead the discussion for the week. A person can earn up to 3 points a session. Discussion leaders earn an automatic 3 points for participating. I will not participate in the discussion per se as a teacher, but I will be a facilitator and summarize ideas at the end of each discussion.

They will sign a contract in the beginning of the school year acknowledging that they will complete all assignments and act respectfully towards teacher and peers.

A password protected blog will be set up for homework assignments and progress monitoring where parents and students can easily access information and learn about our class.

Incentives/Motivators:

From experience, many students neglect Sunday school homework since they almost never take it seriously. When I taught the youth a few years ago, I would constantly hear dumb excuses like "I forgot!" or "I had soccer practice" or "I have REAL exams in my REAL school." I understand that they are busy but my homework is essential for what we will be doing IN CLASS. If they don't come prepared, there won't be class. And since this isn't real school, grades aren't a motivator.

I was thinking of the point system. For every 25-30 points a student earns (maximum 3 points X 10 weeks), there would be some sort of incentive. Ideas?

And as a group contingency for every time the entire group completes assignment, they earn a letter towards FIELD TRIP. So week one if all complete they have an "F" and week two if all done they earn a "I" and so on... Once all nine letters complete, they will earn a field trip to place of choice. Sound good?

Curriculum/Activity:

Although there are hardly any good, decent Islamic curricula books that are relevant for American students, the books I mention above are workable for my age group. We will discuss topics of their choice when appropriate as well. Along with the books, we will work on activities for our community that will involve research and outside work. Some ideas:

-Newsletter editorial
-Recycling team
-AMuslimTeen Presents Project (details to come).

Any other ideas?

I am waiting for your ideas. Talk away!

Chronicles of a Ramadanian: My Meaty Iftar

In the spirit of Ramadan and the potential idea of having lots of people over for iftar one day, I was dragged to a famous Muslim slaughter house in town. The animals, workers and building were are all in very poor condition. The stench was unbearable. Skyrocket prices and very poor customer service all made it a very interesting day!

First stop: sheep, cow and goat room. Mom pointed to the guy in the above picture. The butcher in no time snatched this little guy away from its friends and dumped it in the box to be weighed. The poor guy was shivering. The ducks, rabbits, quails, chickens, hens, turkeys and pigeons were all waiting for a similar fate in the next room.

I managed to spare the sheep's life for one more day but other poultry weren't so lucky. Mom asked if the chicken was organic. It was the Mexican worker assured her. I took a peek at their feed: corn. Surely these can't be marketed as free range?

New rules from this unfortunate trip:

-Never meet your dinner beforehand.
-Vegetarianism isn't so bad?
-Avoid making faces around a butcher. They don't like it.
-It sucks to be a chicken in this world.

Chronicles of a Ramadanian: The Shopping

I drove to the East side of the city today to find a particular Arab store in the area. Word was out that the store had the cheapest Madjool dates in town, not to mention the grape leave jars for under $3 (bargain!). My loyal GPS got me there in no time. My parallel parking skills were slightly tested and thankfully sufficient enough to park the car without any damages. I get to the store, explore a few things. I notice Arab men joking in the back of the store which serves as a halal butchery. Bulk grains, dried fruit and biscuits were everywhere. I browsed, picked and proceeded to check out. The male Arab at the cash register rung my items. I got a phone call from a friend about pita. She wanted pita bread for her family. I found the pita and asked for the price. Now if you know anything about pita, you know it shouldn't be more than a buck for about 6 pita rounds. You only pay more if you buy it from a regular grocery store. Lo and behold! When I informed my friend of the price, she decided that she no longer wanted any. She bought the same bag of pita for less than a dollar from NYC and doesn't mind waiting for family to deliver some in about a week.

The conversation took place in Arabic, on my Phone. The Arab store owner overheard our phone convo. and voluntarily chimed in. "She won't find any Pita around here with this price! Just buy it. Pleaze JUSTA buy it!" All this was accompanied with waving gestures, head shaking and bagging of the undesired, overpriced pita. My friend heard the commotion and kindly informed me to just buy it to avoid trouble. Afterall, the man sounded violent (idiotic).

Obviously, I wasn't about to be bullied into purchasing anything by an Arab male. Call it baggage but I won't have a man, a stranger make my decisions!

"Please, take the pita out of my bags!" I said confidently. I assured my friend everything was fine and swiped my credit card without waiting for his signal of approval.

And that's when the man flipped. He yelled; he ranted; he told me how hard it is to make profit with all the great 'deals' he was offering; he told me how he hated customers such as myself.

I don't feel like ever returning to that store although I didn't leave on a bad note. I was well composed. I didn't yell or scream back. I calmly explained to the man that I was purchasing food for other people and I can't force anyone to buy anything they don't want! I demonstrated that I had no complaints with my own purchases and quickly paid up when he rung everything up.

I am shocked because I expected a different spirit of Ramadan in my very metropolitan, East Coast city, but instead I was confronted with a hostile owner who thinks just because he sells 'ethnic' and rare products he could abuse his customers. Well that ain't happening!

Now you know why I prefer Kosher ;)

Good Husbands

I've fallen victim like many others by focusing on the negatives in the Muslim community when it comes to the unwanted, loser and sometimes very ugly husbands. So let's give credit where is due and give the "good husband/spouses/fiances" the spotlight for a change.

Please share a cuddly, heart-warming story about your Muslim spouse for everyone to read.

Signing off:

An Organica trying much against her nature to be more POSITIVE.

P.S: Self-praising men won't do it =)

A Palestinian, Lebanese and Pakistani Smackdown

I recently added my baby cousin on Facebook. Although he is no longer considered the youngest cousin since my eldest uncle went around having a baby at the age of 60! Nevertheless, I remember taking this boy in a stroller and putting him to sleep. He's a proud teen today and can manage the *F* bomb at any given moment.

*Picture tags my cousin and friends. They use a nickname instead of his real name that starts a minor argument*

Comments:

Cousin: "That's not my name! Change it."
Cousin's Lebanese Friend: "Well, it's a unsuitable name for a Lebnaany...but not for an Egyptian like you [did I mention that my cousin hates his Egyptian side?]!"
Cousin: "I'll [just] raise my head and tell u f*** u I'm Palestinian better than Lebanese medala3 (spoiled rotten) yay yala"
Cousin's Lebanese Friend: "hahahahh...man whats ur nationality?? zakirne (remind me) where is the F*** is this?? i dont know it actually the first time to hear about it sorry ..."
Cousin: " Good for you. Lebnaany my a**"
Pakistani Friend Intercedes: "Raise your leg or your hands. It doesn't matter what you will do. Stop messing with the Lebanese guy!"
Cousin: "HADA PAKSTANY ASH FAHMO BSHY (He is Pakistani, what does he know about anything?"
Cousin's Lebanese Friend: "hahahhaa la7za 3indak bet be falasteen?? howe 3indo bet be pakisten ya3ne 27san minnak .. 3indak aslan balad?? howe 3indo balad .. 3indak paspor falasteene feek tsefer fee?? howe fee ya3ne inta MISH MO3TARAF FEEK...howe mo3taraf fee ..hahahahah ya3ne inta LAJI2" (Wait a minute! Do you have a house in Palestinine? At least he has a home in Pakistan which means he is better than you! He has a real country..Do you even have a Palestinian passport? You aren't even recognized, he is thus better)

The joke ends here, but is it really a joke?

The Original

The Original, originally uploaded by Organica59.

An Awkward Beard Moment

I stop at this mosque in the city to fetch a few things and pray asr but the front door was locked. I try the other secret doors but with no luck. I return to the parking lot where I spot a group of bearded brothers. I assume they might know the whereabouts of the key so I make an approach. Once very close to aforementioned group, I see something awkward that makes me run to my car.

One of the bearded brother extends his arm to his neighboring beardy friend and strikes brushes feels his beard for what seemed like a VERY LONG TIME while engrossed in conversation.

I turn around immediately and dash to my car. I dare say public touching of one another's beards should be banned for all to see. Where is the hayaa ya Ikhwan?