Blueberries

Blueberries, originally uploaded by Organica59.

Feeling Domestic

Feeling Domestic, originally uploaded by Organica59.

On One of Those Walks

One of Those Walks, originally uploaded by Organica59.

It's Official

I resigned!, originally uploaded by Organica59.

Actual picture of my old classroom :)

Things that Make me Happy

It never rung true what they said about stress. But now I'm a believer and a follower that stress can get to you in every sort of way. It creeps into your life and starts making unwelcome changes. It's then your choice to let it grow or cut the roots while you still CAN!

So here are some ways that I fight stress or rather things that make me happy:

1) Scented Candles, cute stationary and colorful pens!

2) Chillin' at Border's bookstore sipping on something with whip cream and reading random books I probably would never buy!

3) Gardening! A newly discovered hobby. My favorite is when I get to pick the fruits of my labor and eat them right off the vine!

4) Scottish smoked salmon and English aged cheddar along with a warm French baguette.

5) Tiny shops that serve multiple purposes like this shop that sold organic baked goods, freshly cut flowers and artisanal cheeses. I had a warm whole wheat pretzel with fennel seeds.

6) Walks that involve parks, water and beautiful scenery.

7) Food. I love trying out new restaurants, exploring new cuisines and being adventurous!

8) Dress shopping!

9) Traveling! I've been to three different countries in the past 6 months. My next plan is to take roadtrips and explore states nearby, God-willing!

10) My bed :-)!

Halal Berries

Halal Berries, originally uploaded by Organica59.

Picked off the Masjid's tree :-)

A Piece of India: London, UK

Green Street, London, originally uploaded by Organica59.

Bubble Tea

Bubble Tea, originally uploaded by Organica59.

Delicious Off the Vine

Delicious Off the Vine, originally uploaded by Organica59.

I heart gardening. Strawberry hang basket outside a garden we planted :-)

Confessions of a New Teacher

They don't prepare you in college for any of this: kids who curse you out on a daily basis, the spitting, the desk flipping, the shoving, the hitting and the hate. The hate is what kills me. Instead, Academia taught me to mark student work with "purple" instead of red which is considered a friendlier color; to use "excellent" and "magnificent" instead of the mundane "good job!" And to write long, fun and perfect lessons that earn you an A+ or better yet a Summa Cum Laude on your diploma that is hanging above your desk. But no one bothered to teach me how to stand up for myself against hormone-laden boys who can't stop talking about sex or mentioning women in every vulgar and derogatory manner known to man.

But you learn to fake it. Thick skin grows fast where I work. You learn to talk the talk. You start sounding like them. "You drawing, son..." I would say sometimes to make them laugh. Or the instances I find myself screaming, "Stop running yo' mouths or am callin home.." It's a survival mechanism.

If they only knew that sometimes when I stand in front of the class of 30 boys, I am actually trembling with fear. My upright stature; straight and rather mean looking face; and raised, determined voice is just a mask so they don't know. I really just fake it all day until last period is over. If they only discovered when I drive away each day sighing with relief that I've managed to trick them for one more day. I am really just a girl, fresh out of college with no experience.

But there are moments of happiness, pleasure and excitement when the bulb lights, even for only a mere second. Some of them appreciate the strings you pull to bring in more computers in your classroom, the weekly treats and good phone calls home to parents.

You start to learn your students. Little Tyrese could be on the crazy side sometimes. If you take away something he is playing with during your lesson, he won't subside until he gets it back. He might turn desks, hit you with something or run out the door in reaction. So you learn to use a positive approach rather than negative one. You bribe him with the promise to send a good note home for his family to read. He'll then do anything to please you and perhaps encourage others to do the same. You no longer see the outbursts or the abuse. Another student, John, will do anything for an opportunity on the laptop. He will complete all his assignments for a short five minutes on funbrain or another game site. John doesn't have a computer at home. But I won't lie, with some kids, NOTHING WORKS.

It becomes rather complicated when you are expected to teach 90 students a day. They all have their quirks, differences, gifts and issues. You can't keep track of them all. And sometimes you slip, you mess up.

Some people tell me teaching was a wrong choice of profession. I beg to differ. Simply because these same people have never observed me teach. But I do agree that teaching where I am currently positioned isn't for me, and probably never will be.

Some people blame the kids, others blame the parents. I would like to blame myself. I am not fit to teach them. There are teachers in my building who have succeeded. They've found their way, although most confess it's taken them at least 10 years to get there. I know I am not willing to ride it out that long, so I've decided to find a new way.

I hope I find it soon.