January Giveaway: Caption for Bambi

I learned quickly last summer that not all people believe in the importance of proper hygiene. I was on a four hour train ride from Paris to Switzerland and the seat next to mine was occupied. I learned later that it belonged to a Frenchman who was traveling with his family. He had little interest in occupying the seat by me (to my relief), but it turns out he had plans to stand and hover over me with his arms up instead.

This would have not phased me if I was on a train in the U.S. or Canada, but Europeans don't believe in deodorant or air conditioning. So the Frenchman (with the most rancid combination of aftershave and BO) stood there for four hours undaunted by my attempts to spray him with Nicole's mini bottle of Lysol disinfectant spray.

Needless to say, it was a life lesson.

Ever since I've invested in large sums of money to find the perfect spray/disinfectant/sanitizer in event the summer of 2010 makes a come back.

I think I've finally located the PERFECT combination of hand sanitizer and room spray (at an affordable price). It's a little 2 oz. spray bottle from Bath and Body works that retails for about $4 a piece. I love the bottle because although they aren't meant to be room spray, they work like a charm! I've manged to spray 3 people in public so far. Totally works.

So here's your opportunity to try out spraying smelly people in public with an Market Apple Scent! I'm giving away 3 of my precious bottles of antibacterial spray.*

Here's what you need to do:

So for this giveaway (Yes! Giveaways will be a regular monthly thing, God-willing), I would like you to challenge yourself and come up with the funniest caption EVER!

• The picture and the funniest caption will appear on the side bar of this blog and receive one bottle of spray.
• The 2 runner-ups will receive a complimentary bottle of hand sanitizer.
• One submission per household
• Submit your captions in the comments section of this post
• I will ship anywhere in the world
• Deadline: January 28, 2010, Midnight EST
  

Good luck!

"What was Bambi thinking?"

How to Build a Ramp

1) Buy your wood and screws; 2) Prepare tools and other things from geometry class
3) Cut your wood using a chop sew (follow safety practices at all times); 4) Check your design for accurate measure

5) Clean your surface; 7) Set up your base and tightly fasten to existing board
8) Fasten your board and use a spacer for accurate space between boards 7) Test out your ramp either by jumping or driving your tractor over it.

Survey Results: Muslim Women's Sexual Behavior

PLEASE READ THIS INTRO FIRST BEFORE READING THE RESULTS. 


1) Are you a Muslim female?

Yes: 100%

2) How do you define sexual behavior? (responses varied)

- "Anything that drive up your libido"
- "Any interaction between two people that involves feelings of mutual sexual desire"
- "In my opinion sexual behavior no only constitutes sex or any form of physical contact but also includes sexual behavior in the sense of flirting"
- "Anything related to the act of sex I guess"
- "Acts of masturbation, kissing, intimate hugs and anything further than that"
- "Activities that express sexuality and constitute sexual experience"

3) Have you had any sexual experiences?


Yes: 78%
No:  22%


4) Have you had any sexual experiences outside of the folds of marriage?


Yes: 59%
No:  41%


5) How have you engaged in sexual behavior?

6) How frequently do you engage in sexual behavior?

Daily: 10%
Weekly: 49%
Monthly: 20%
I don't engage in sexual behavior ever: 20%

7) As a Muslim woman, do you feel pressured to look/act sexy but at the same time are told you are forbidden to act the way you feel? 

Strongly Agree: 12%
Agree: 42%
Disagree: 33%
Strongly Disagree: 12%

8) Have you engaged in homosexual behavior (sexual acts with the same gender)?

Yes: 22%
No: 78%

9) How did you learn about sex? 

10) Would you speak to your current/prospective partner about your sexual needs/desires openly? If so, provide examples of how you've done so or plan to do so. 

- "Not until we get the nikah [religious marriage ceremony]"
- "Yes, I would discuss it with a partner because I feel it is an integral part of relationships, I would not partake in premarital sex but you can't marry someone you're not sexually compatible with either so I believe we should discuss it beforehand, not in crude details but just extremes like fetishes or things like that"
- "Yes, I do all the time. Openly and honestly. Such as flirting or explicitly saying, 'I want to do this, at this time, at this certain place."
- "Yes, I plan on letting him know that I want sex for pleasure and not just sex to have kids."
- "Openly, no, maybe some hints."
- "Absolutely. We're married, therefore dependent on each other for sexual pleasure. To avoid either of us being deprived, we have to be able to speak openly about our needs."
- "No, I would not speak about my sexual desires to prospective partners before marriage. However, after marriage I think I would express my sexual desires in an effort to increase mutual pleasure."
- "I don't feel comfortable doing so although he is open with me and wants me to discuss it openly with him."

11) As a Muslim woman, if your partner is not satisfying your needs (sexually) with all that entails, what would you or wouldn't do about it?

- "I would let him know. Visit some non-pornographic sites to get some ideas."
- "Talk to him about it."
- "I would openly talk about it but not in a negative way. I would suggest new things I liked. I would lead him in a way that made him not feel inadequate because usually its not inadequacy, it's just not knowing because everyone is different."
- "I would try to make it more interesting and fun. I would suggest 'let's do this.." without trying to hurt their feelings."
- "I'm very open with my husband about what I like. We both agree that my needs come first, and he has to work to get it.."
- "Tell him or physically manipulate him into doing what I want him to do."
- "I wouldn't do anything about it. My sexual "expectations" are low since the topic is so taboo in the religion."
- "Guide him through what I need"
- "Nothing"
- "I'd tell him to take a pill"
- "Masturbate"
- "Well, that's a hard topic to open up. Not all men are open to such discussions."

12) Would you want to perform oral sex on your partner?

Yes: 72%
No:  28%

13)Would you want your partner to perform oral sex on you?


Yes: 81%
No:  19%

14) Would you want to engage in anal sex?


Yes: 8%
No:  92%

15) Have you ever used sex toys/porn to enhance your sexual experiences?


Yes: 45%
No:  55%

16) Share some of your non-conventional sexual desires.

- "Rough sex, group sex and public sex"
- "The idea of anal excites me and my partner but it's not particularly enjoyable in theory. Rough sex, being tied up, hair pulling, being in completely power. The idea with a woman incites sexual desire but it never translates in real life, I have never been attracted to a woman I've met."
- "Sex with strangers."
- "Role playing, especially where a man is in control."
- "Sex on the kitchen worktop."
- "Not applicable."
- "None."
- "Rough sex, BDSM, to some extend. Double penetration. Spanking."
- "I have a desire to be dominated (like he tells me what to do, or 'forces' me to do it in a certain way). I may like to try bondage (tying my hands and/or feet)."
- "I like to be slapped on the ass, a little roughness, hair pulling, watching him touch himself."
- "Haven't had any."
- "Besides the regular bi urge, I think regular sexual acts are fine with me."
- "To have sex with different men."

17) How has your culture/upbringing affected your views on sex?

- "That it's all about the man."
- "Culture/upbringing was strict and hush-hush about sex. But since small has found porn tapes/mags stashed away. Grew up with the idea that sex is interesting but something to keep quiet about."
- "It was something we never talked about."
- "Speak no evil, hear no evil."
- "I was always taught to stay away from men until marriage. That was all I felt toward sex really, no one ever said it was wrong or dirty. We never talked about it except once a very strange conversation about masturbation came up, like my parents suspected I was masturbating so were trying to educate me about it."
- "We didn't talk about it, but were told to do whatever we wanted to satisfy ourselves and partners within the confines of marriage."
- "It's a topic that's not spoken about until the day of a girls' wedding. Girls who speak or think of sex are shameless."
- "I was raised in a Western family therefore I wasn't exposed to restrictive cultural expectations about women."
- "My culture/upbringing has taught me that any form of sexual relationships are completely forbidden premarriage. The society...led me to behave in ways that go against my teachings."
- "I don't think it has any effect.."
- "My culture upbringing has made sex taboo and something you just don't talk about. There is an understanding that it happens but it is seriously frowned upon if a non-married woman engages in sexual activities."

18) Have you been sexually abused?

Yes: 23%
No: 77%

19) Define marital rape.

- "Basically rape but includes being raped by a husband or having an abusive husband that beats or emotionally abuses you that you would engage in sex with him out of fear."
- "Being married, and coerced into having sex with one party unwilling and without consent."
- "Any instance where one partner is forcibly trying to sexually engage the other while the other has stated his/her disinterest."
- "When a man forces himself on his wife against her will."
- "When a woman says no and the husband does it anyways."
- "It happens everyday in the Arab world, men penetrating women without her being ready. Or demanding sex when the woman is not in the mood causing pain!"
- "Penetration or forced oral sex without spouses consent."

20) How does a woman lose her virginity? 

- "Some view losing virginity as any sort of penetration or even oral/dry sex but I think losing virginity is full-on penal/vaginal penetration. Aka traditional sex."
- "By first having sex. I do no believe in the hymen being a sign of one's virginity. Virginity is a state of mind."
- "I believe a woman loses her virginity whenever she feels she has lost it. For me, it was when I was first vaginally penetrated."
- "Sexual penetration."
- "By penetration from a man (sex). I don't know where I stand on fingers (his or hers) Not by riding a bike, nor using a tampon nor gymnastics."
- "Through sexual intercourse. That much is pretty obvious but it really upsets/scares/makes me angry how my family still thinks that you can lose it by using tampons. I've used tampons before without telling my mom and I am scared that in their view I've "lost my virginity." That's why I don't want to get married in case my future husband thinks in the same way (you know stupid test they do to see whatever you're a virgin or not, if you bleed on the sheets or whatever because your hymen gets broken)."
- "Penetration of any kind."
- "The first time she has complete sex. Full sex."
- "Well to be honest, what really comes to mind when I think of a virgin is someone who has never engaged in any sexual activity ever. She is still pure."
- "Any sexual activity."

21) Would you engage in phone sex with your partner?


Yes: 77%
No:  24%

22) Does the size of your partner's penis matter to you?


Yes: 41%
No:  59%

23) Do you feel masturbation is forbidden in Islam?


Yes: 45%
No:  56%

24) Do you ever orgasm through self-pleasure?


Yes: 72%
No:  28%

25) Do you ever orgasm with your partner?


Yes: 74%
No:  26%

26) Do you share your sexual experiences with friends/family?


Yes: 32%
No:  68%

27) Do you think your sexual needs as a woman are of equal importance to a man's needs?


Yes: 93%
No:  7%

28) How does your self-image (the way you view your body) affect your sexual behaviors? Explain

- "If I feel confident about my figure then I feel more confident in the bedroom with my partner."
- "When I am feeling self-conscious of how I look, I put in a little more effort to make myself to look better. But when that does not work, I get depressed *sigh*"
- "I am comfortable with my body and I like being admired by my husband. It doesn't bother me to have a sex with the lights on or to be naked with my husband."
- "I'm obese so I think this will greatly affect my sexual behavior."
- "When I feel good about my body, I feel sexier."
- "It has a huge impact. I need to feel sexy to enjoy sex, period. Whether that means working out on a regular basis to gain stamina or tone, or just wearing new lingerie. I need to feel sexy for me because my partner thinks I am sexiest in my sweatpants with my hair up."
- "The better a body looks, the more confident you become about speaking up with your partner about your sexual desires and needs."
- "In the beginning, I was self-conscious because I was overweight and although I was OK with that, I thought my husband might mind because some friends were pushing me to diet pre-marriage. However, my husband loved my body just the way it was and because of that, I am open to sexual behavior in a confident way."
- "I have really low self-esteem so I really hate the way I look. I get paranoid sometimes and think that everyone hates me because I look so ugly."
- "Feeling fat means I try to avoid him seeing me where I am least comfortable."
- "They don't affect my needs but definitely affect how confident I am to engage in activities."
- "Being overweight makes me feel unsexy in lingerie, even though my husband assures me otherwise."
- "I'm confident in life, so I think confident in getting my way in sex as well."
- "I am self-conscious about my weight, so it makes me feel that my partner won't find pleasure in me."

29) Does your partner's physical appearance matter to you?


Yes: 75%
No:  25%

30) Would you ever enhance parts of your body to be more sexually attractive through intrusive surgical procedures? 


Yes: 13%
No:  87%

Blog Shout-outs

I am that one person who has to call everyone when I see a deal. I'll even offer to buy it for you and your mother-in-law, deliver it to your home and not accept penny in return. I believe that everybody deserves a bargain.

Now people who are well versed in common sense believe I'm losing more so than gaining, but I beg to differ. The world is a much happier place when we share within reasonable limits.

I recall two Valentines ago [haram police don't shoot], I was browsing at my favorite Friday night hangout (Target) and noticed their seasonal clearance aisles. Alas, my original plan to leave with deodorant failed miserably--and--instead, I left with 30 bags of candy and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. Some of these items would soon be delivered as far as Syria and Egypt.

As an active blogger in my community, I'm always excited to read new blogs that are unique, refreshing and inspiring, especially ones that are relevant to my interests. Here are a few selected blogs worth a shout-out. Feel free to share in the comments some of yours.

Metis' Blog on Muslim Feminists

This blog unlike many others in its genre, provides a well researched, unbiased attempt to synthesize and critically analyze current literature on Islamic Feminism. Some of the topics are mind-boggling. I encourage you to visit Metis' blog with an open mind and heart. And I do warn you, this blog isn't for everyone, so reader beware! The author of the blog is sweet, soft-spoken and always appreciative of your comments, even if you disagree with the content.

This Little Life of Me

Amnah is a beautiful American Muslimah mother who is not afraid to tackle a can of spray paint, sewing machine and camera with a sense pride and classiness. I would vote Amnah to be the new face of Pottery Barn and Martha Stewart enterprises. She's one of those mothers who make you want to have children JUST to try out all her nifty ideas. And it helps that her kids are adorable. I'm seriously considering buying a sewing machine or a kid. I haven't decided yet. I'm a firm believer that Youtube can teach you anything.

(P.S: Awesome photographer)

Diary of a Muslim Girl

You've probably already read Misha, the author of the Diary of a Muslim girl, since she's been blogging for quite some time now. But what you might not know is that Misha has moved her blog to a new domain. I would describe Misha's blog as my sanctuary. I feel inspired and I'm left with a sense of peace leaving her blog. Misha has been very kind keeping up with my demands on Twitter. Recently I requested from her to blog more about 'stuff.' You gotta love Canadians.

I'm in the process of updating my links page to reflect some of my regular reads. What have you been reading?

My Heritage: An Influence

I know I might not say this enough, but I am proud of who I am and where I come from. I'm Arab and most of me as a person is influenced by the fact. The way I speak, my outlook on life and even my sense of decor.

I was dusting my jewelry stand this weekend and noticed something about my selection. Can you see what I see?

Portable Bidet: An Egyptian Canadian Invention

I've been obsessed with the whole toileting and being Muslim (in the West) ever since I moved back to the U.S. back in 2000. I've daydreamed of an invention equal to the experience of a Middle Eastern bidet. There's nothing like having a splash in the bidet. It's pure luxury!

Last year I blogged asking readers 'What Muslims Use to Wipe their Bums?' Many had creative methods dealing with this major problem. Some suggested permanent changes to one's plumbing system. Others sought the wet toilet paper or wipes route. However, from my experience, wipes can become costly--and perhaps NOT the most sanitary of all methods. Let's face it: real clean means a good splash of water aided by strong toilet paper for a drying effect.

So--of course--the founder of this Canadian company, an Egyptian Canadian, had to beat me to my million dollar invention and invent this awesome little squirt bottle that TOTALLY gives you that bidet feel without calling your plumber or buying a complicated, pricey, stationary system. This bidet system can fit in your bookbag (rucksack) or purse.

I have found that although the squirt bottle is brilliant , it would have been more efficient if the bottle was a little larger, which would make it easier to exert more pressure and release more water. However, I understand that would defeat the portability of the design.

Here's how it works (and don't worry, this product has not been tested on animals, just humans):

Step one: Fill the water bottle up. Warm water if you fancy it that way.

Step two: Screw the nozzle on the bottle (You have two to choose from)

Step three: Position, aim and squeeze.

Nozzle #2

Step four: Feel refreshed

(I'll leave this part to your imagination OR an opportunity to try it out yourself. Here is how to order. You may also contact the company here: info[at]puritymagic[dot]com)

(I've heard from a few people that they sold well at RIS (Reviving the Islamic Spirit Conference in Toronto) and if you've tried it already, please leave a review in the comment section and if you have any suggestions as how to improve this system, please leave your comments as well. Thank you)

Winners of Hadeeth Giveaway

I'm inspired by all the submissions to the Giveaway post and want to thank each and every one of you for the effort you've put in preparing for this giveaway. I had a friend off the blogosphere assist with judging to avoid biases. After much debate over hot breakfast sandwiches at Panera bread this morning, we've reached our selection. The winners are....

1) Hagar: Her submission was right on target about the Prophet's attitude toward youth. Instead of denying natural sexual desires of a young person, he reasoned and allowed the young man to voice his concern without rebuking him for these thoughts. I encourage you to read the full explanation here.

When a young man came to the Prophet asking permission to fornicate, the Prophet told him, "Would you like it for your mother?" The man said, "no." He asked him, "Would you like it for your sister?"The young man said, "no." He asked him, "Would you like it for your aunt?" The young man said "no." Would you like it for your cousin?" The young man said "no." Then the Prophet told him, "Likewise, people would not like it for their female relatives." And he put his hand on the young man's chest and prayed that Allah grants him chastity.

2) Susanne: Her submission from the Book of Matthew hit home with our current life obsessed with materialism while forgetting that God is the ultimate provider of all things, including our own lives. This submission puts things in perspective. We need God and should rely on Him more often because He is the most loving.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

3) Anonymous 12:45pm: This submission is extremely relevant to our current times where dishonesty has become a norm in our societies. We should always opt for honesty in all aspects of our lives. If people were more honest, the financial disaster hitting the world would be irrelevant!

Yahya related to me from Malik from Humayd at-Tawil from Anas ibn Malik that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, forbade selling fruit until it had become mellow. He was asked, "Messenger of Allah! What do you mean by become mellow?" He said, "When it becomes rosy."

4) Aya Khalil: I can't emphasize enough the relevance of this hadeeth to our generations and many to come. If only more parents would listen to Imam Ali more often.

Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib said: "Do not force your children to behave like you, for surely they have been created for a time which is different to your time.”

5) ~W~: This verse from the Quran reflects so much of what we suffer from as a planet environmentally, culturally and financially. Our own doings have come to bite us. We need to return to the right path! Explanation here

From the Quran which is described by God as "ahasan alhadith": 30:41

ظَهَرَ الْفَسَادُ فِي الْبَرِّ وَالْبَحْرِ بِمَا كَسَبَتْ أَيْدِي النَّاسِ لِيُذِيقَهُم بَعْضَ الَّذِي عَمِلُوا لَعَلَّهُمْ يَرْجِعُونَ

Corruption has appeared on land and in the sea as an outcome of what men's hands have wrought: and so He will let them taste [the evil of] some of their doings, so that they might return [to the right path].

6) Bonus: Fraz Younis

I couldn't resist including this Hadeeth, although it took me a while to understand, I think a lot of us fall into this trap of believing things based on superficial reasons instead of resorting to hard facts. We need to critically analyze what we follow before we hail amen to a few fancy speeches! Explanation here.

"Two men from the east stood up and spoke, and people were amazed at their eloquence. The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, 'Some eloquence is sorcery,' or he said, 'Part of eloquence is sorcery.'

**

Winners, please send me your mailing address to organica59[at]gmail[dot]com so I can mail you your prizes. Congratulations!

Again, thank you for all who have made this giveaway happen. I already have another giveaway in the works. I'm going to try to make this a regular habit, God-willing.

Love and peace,

Organica

How to be a Healthy Cook: Part 2: Ingredients

For Part 1, click here.

I won't lie, I do spend a huge chunk of my paycheck on groceries, fresh ones. Eating good food can become expensive and costly; I will not tell you any differently. But I guarantee, if you cut corners in other aspects of your budget, you'll be able to afford wholesome, healthy ingredients. I think the food you put in your body and your family should be a priority.

People often ask, "what's the secret to this dish or that?" My answer is always the same: good ingredients. If you use crappy ingredients, the end result is crap. However, there are a few things that you may cheat on. For the most part, I like to buy organic ingredients.

Often people associate healthy cooking with weight loss while disregarding the importance of health for everyone, not just people with extra fat around their belly. Albeit, healthy cooking could lead to weight loss and a healthier physique. So let's begin with changing our attitudes towards healthy eating and accept that it's for everyone!

There are savvy people out there who plan their grocery list according to their weekly menus, but for people who are low on time, it's best to stock key ingredients at all times. Here is what I have on hand in my pantry.

Non-perishables:

-Low-sodium organic chicken broth (I use this in everything, no kidding!)
-Cooking Spray
-Organic olive oil
-Balsamic vinegar
-Canola oil
-Canned clams/boneless skinless sardines
-Chopped nuts
-Chickpeas (canned)
-Beans (of any kind)
-Lentils
-Pastas (whole wheat if you like)
-Rice (brown if you must)
-Oats
-Flour (whole wheat if you like)
-Baking Soda
-Baking Power
-Brown Sugar
-Honey
-Corn Starch
-Whole grain cereals
-Seasoned bread crumbs
-Semi-sweet baking chocolate chips
-Fat-free Italian seasoned croutons (you can make your own)
-Pickled beats/cucumbers/olives
-low-fat dressing
-Organic tomato sauce
-sweet roasted peppers

Snacks:

-Whole grain granola bars (you can make your own, I like these)
-popcorn
-Sea salt Melba toast/bagel crisps
-Thin pretzels
-Pumpernickel pretzels from Trader Joe's
-light organic peanut butter
-Dry fruit
-unsalted roasted nuts

Fruits/Veggies:

-Organic apples
-banana
-grapes
-pomegranate
-oranges
-peaches/nectarine
-mangoes
-watermelon
-berries
-Cucumbers
-mushrooms
-eggplant
-zucchini
-herbs
-onions
-garlic
-shallots
-ginger (paste)
-tomatoes
-lettuce
-baby spinach

Frozen Foods:

I think in terms of damage control. It will be impossible to eliminate processed foods entirely from any diet, so minimizing is key. Frozen cooked foods like fries, mozzarella sticks, burritos, concentrated fruit juices, ice cream, etc are a big no no in my freezer. It's easy to create meals with these items and forget fresh ingredients that is better for you. Here's what I usually keep handy in my freezer:

-Frozen veggies (off season veggies and ones that you don't plan to cook right away. I like corn, broccoli florets, French cut green beans, mixed veggies, sweet peas, asparagus)
-Non-fat Vanilla frozen yogurt (if you must)
-Low-fat Frozen Dinner (in case I have no time to cook, I have a healthy option instead of opting for fast food)
-Turkey burgers
-Mahi Mahi burgers from Trader Joe's
-Whole wheat buns (freeze when you get home)
-All natural Chicken sausage (Trader Joe's)
-organic frozen fruit (for smoothies)

Meats:

-Lean ground turkey breast
-Organic free range chicken tenders/breast
-Organic free range chicken drumsticks/whole chicken cut up (take off skin before cooking)
-Grass fed organic meat (I don't eat red meat much, I buy on rare occasions only)
-Fish fillet (I like tilapia)
-Shrimp
-Scallops, seafood blend

Dairy:

I love cheese. That's all I have to say.

-2% Deli style cheese (Swiss, provolone)
-A good blue cheese (I buy a wedge to crumble or slice)
-A sharp cheese for sandwiches (Ex. Gruyere)
-2% shredded cheese (I like the 4 cheese blend from Trader Joe's. Awesome on salads and homemade pizza)
-2% Mozzarella for homemade pizza or paninis (freeze if you won't use right away)
- Fat-free feta (excellent salad topper and since you'll be using dressing, no need for the fat!)

Bread:

-Whole wheat pita (I freeze)
-Sourdough bread or any artisan bread
-8-grain ciabatta bread
-Lavash bread
-Whole wheat low-fat wraps

Spices:

-I have EVERY spice you can think of. Spices can make or break a dish and I make sure to well season everything. No one wants to consume bland foods. So don't be scared to use a little spice in your dish. These are my favorite spice blends that I have in all flavors :)

Stay tune for Part 3: How to be a Healthy Cook: Tips from a Behaviorist