The professor divided our rather large college class into four groups. Our assignment was to speak about how we remember the day of September 11. Once we shared our experiences with our group, we were asked to write one summary of the events. Most of my classmates had the same memories: people were shocked, more patriotic with flags everywhere, kinder, and united more than ever.
When it came my turn to share my memories of the day, I froze. No, that wasn’t how the aftermath of September 11 experience was for me, an ARAB AMERICAN MUSLIM TEEN.
For the past 7 years I have never written about my September 11 experience. There are greater stories out there that serve the purpose. However, today I feel like sharing it with the world.
On September 11, I learned what America means by the term “aliens”, and no they weren’t from Mars but form the Middle East.
On September 11, I was told to go back where I came from.
On September 11, boys in my high school hallways would use their winter scarves as turbans and harass me everywhere I went.
On September 11, my boss at my first job would swear and threaten “we will get those traitors! We will get those Arabs and kill them all” while giving me the look of death.
On September 11, I had to choose to either be Muslim or American.
On September 11, I wanted nothing more than to return to Egypt because America decided I was a traitor.
On September 11, a Christian Egyptian grocer we frequented for 25+ years was killed in cold blood simply because he was “Arab” and looked like a Muslim.
On September 11, I had to prove everyday afterwards that I was not a traitor or terrorist.
On September 11, I cried for the thousands of lives that were affected by the horrific acts.
On September 11, I was proud to be a Muslim and that meant I was with them, the enemy.
On September 11, I learned about racism.
On September 11, I learned that all Americans might have united, but over one thing: to hate me, my people, my kind.
35 reflections:
subhanallah... and how did your class take your experiences with that dreadful day?
Wonderful, I love your writing. I hope your class was kinder than those in your school seven years ago!!
Did you tell your group/class what YOUR 9/11 was/is?? sf
Ahh that must've been terrible. Unfortunately some people in the middle east were handing out candy and dancing in the streets when that happened (or so I heard). So ignorants on both camps..
Ya Allah! I can relate. On 911 my husband was bringing me home from work and we encountered some young men in our neighborhood harassing and throwing rocks at two sisters in hijab. My husband immediately pulled the car to the roadside and jumped out to defend them. Suban'Allah. Thank you for sharing YOUR story.
I second the question of did you share that w/ your group & how did they take it?
My husband (Christian Arab) has told me that he went through some similar stuff at school after that too. He still doesn't like to talk about it, and I understand that... noone should be treated that way.
Thanks for sharing btw...
um. I take offense to your last memory..."I learned that all Americans might have united, but over one thing: to hate me, my people, my kind."....ALL americans? I am a born and raised white american and I was *never* united with anyone to hate you, your people or your kind. In fact, I embraced (as did a lot of my friends) my muslim friends and coworkers and it was because of 9/11 that I learned more about Islam and eventually converted 7 months later. I respect your opinion but am hurt that I've now been labeled. How will our world ever get better? It's hard to be hopeful ...
I didn't share my experiences with the group because I didn't feel ready. However, the professor did ask at the end when the groups presented their condensed stories if anyone had a different experience. I was one of the few who raised their hand.
The professor concluded, "and now you see that history is biased."
Parijan:
As'salamu alaikum wa rahmtullhi wa baraktuh.
I know you've been reading my blog for some time. Do you see anything in my attitude that reflects that I think all Americans hate Muslims or Arabs? If you skim the archives you will find a post titled, "Why I love America."
I ask you to look at the above writing as a piece of writing. It's titled "My 9/11" and obviously that makes it personal, which means it's how I felt. And it doesn't necessarily reflect how I currently feel.
Think of an author as a confused lonely teen experiencing all these feelings.
Hope that helps clear things up.
I pray that your Ramadan is going well, and please don't be offended. We are just talking here.
Peace.
To Parijan -
I didn't take offense at the statement, but other than that I'm with you there. I joined a solidarity group afterwards. Looking back it was a little naive (imagine me wearing a hijab on a coC campus when I rarely went outside of it anywhere)
A big part of it w/ me was I had friends from the Middle East (and Muslim) and saw how they were being treated, and had comments made to me (from my family) about them. It bothered me a lot. On top of that I'd had to wear hijab to a school thing a few days after 9/11 (I was doing a presentation on my trip to Tanzania & had told the teacher I would be wearing it already) & got the "go back where you came from" comment myself. Part of me was shocked & then later on it bothered me more because I realized that if I had heard it then others (who wouldn't be going home to change) were getting it worse. So I had a little push into wanting to do something about it.
And to be fair I remember others behaving similarly. My friends were the same way (one even joined me on the hijab day). Unfortunately the ones that were rude & hateful stick out the most...
I agree with hannah, you're a literary artiste mashaAllah.
'And now you see that history is biased.'
*wry smile*
salaam organica. wonderful post. may i repost it on islamonmyside.com? submissions@islamonmyside.com.
i'm interested in publishing more stories if anyone reading this has one they'd like to tell.
I always tried to understand the Americans like I understand the Palestinian stance. Someone destroys your home and you can't stand them. Period. This is why Palestinians hate the Israelis. But unfortunately in the 9/11 case it is a people against a religion. It is not Americans against Pakistanis or Emaratis or Omanis. It is Americans against Muslims. Somehow some Muslims also treat *all* Jews like Israelis. It is all very messy.
So sorry to hear you had to go through so much. That is very bad.
I was not affected by 9/11 so much, not only because I was in London, and also not Arab, but I was not a "visible" Muslim. Even my name is not Muslim-sounding.
However by the time 7/7 came around, I was most definitely in the visible Muslim camp. Even though I live in the same town where the atrocity occurred (I was actually travelling to work that same morning, though the bombs had gone off before I could get on the tube) I have never been subject to any abuse because of it, for which I am thankful, alhamdulillah. I think London handled the situation better, in that sense.
Saying that, I have heard some horrible stories of Muslims being attacked in other parts of the UK, I think in places where the division between Muslim and non-Muslim is much clearer (i.e., racism, where most Muslims are brown, and most white people are non-Muslim).
I am sad you went through this, but I think it has made you a stronger person, and someone who has more of an appreciation of what a true American is. I.e., someone who doesn't judge by colour or race, but stands for truth, justice and the American way - which happens to be Islam in a nutshell! Allahu akbar!
I am sorry you had to go through this as a teen.
9/11 has changed the world.
It has released a lot of negative energy because what happened was a very negative thing. It is sad that a bunch of so called muslims have caused all this destruction that unleased so much hate towards all other muslimsm.
In Canada, I never went through anything like that. I was in the 10th grade. I know there are other Muslims here, including other women covering their heads, and men with beards, that did feel the effects of racism. Thank you for sharing this story as it sheds some light on how severe it was for some people.
And to think, some people had it even worse, and that it still is a problem for others. May Allah protect and forgive us all.
Wow, Organica, I don't know what to say. I really just don't know what to say.
9/11 was something that changed many peoples lives and even people like you who had nothing to do with it are affected. the aftermath of 9/11 portrays a negative image of muslims to non-muslims and a negative image of non-muslims to muslims.
well, one day, i hope you can stand up to the world and tell it straight, "yea it affected the muslim sister as much as it affected you"
Sincerily
-The Muslim Kid-
Oh yea,
I made a new post and need advice. when you get time, could you check it out.
www.themuslimkid.blogspot.com
-The Muslim Kid-
I completely forgot it was 9/11 today. Many people of different backgrounds perished on that day. What makes me mad was how easy it was that us Muslims were automatically the prime suspects. I hate the way people look at me on the tube just because i wear a hijab and an abaya. I hate the way people assume that just because you're Muslim you condone terrorism. I hate the 'secular' Muslims (if i can use that word to denote Muslims who are more westernised than the non-Muslims) seem to side with the non-Muslims and are hateful towards their fellow Muslims. I hate the fact people assume i am oppressed because i am covered. I hate the way people assume that Muslims are evil or all Muslims are either Arab or from the sub-continent. I hate the fact our Mujahideen are called terrorists and cowards [A'udhuBillah!!!] and the Coalition forces are liberators. I hate the fact people think Muslims were proud of 9/11!!! How can we celebrate the murder of thousands?!! We are NOT barbaric nor backward. Do not insult the Muslims and our beautiful religion!
-Irritated Muslimah
I agree whole heartily with what you said. If I would have written anything, It would have been something very similar as what you wrote ..
A little saddening but the truth .. :-(
Maryam
It must be terrible going thru' such experiences.Your very own neighbourhood turned 'foreign' all because of one episode.This shows how delicate racial and religious matters are.Even after 7 years I don't feel that we have overcome much prejudices related to terrorism.How much can dialogues achieve to thwart such activities when there are biased jugdements on both sides?All it takes is just one terror act to destroy the good relations with whom we live side by side.Dialogues are just not enough.More must be done.
lat
I feel for you sis; so many of the things that you wrote is what I went through a few years ago living in the community where Islam is not accepted by any means..I even blogged myself about it today.
But one thing I noticed more this year then before is how much America has "grown" up since then and has started to move forward in the sense of not clinging so badly to the ideals of "HATE AND PUNISHMENT" towards our Deen because of those involved in 9/11.
There are so many people who are defending Islam and the injustice that has been caused against it by slander from our government and media etc. This country still has such a long way to go before it finally accepts that Islam is and was not the root cause of all evil; But the positive influence of those who are using their voice is an accomplishment in itself because people are tired of the negative and wish for more positive. So is this the Positive change we need..yes!
So I guess I just think that America as a whole is starting to move (might be slowly) forward; not forgetting the events but moving more towards the future and a better more positive outcome.
Insha'Allah this will continue ;o)
I happened to be visiting the home of some long time dear Arab/Muslim friends over here in the middle east when the towers attack came on tv...everyone grew quiet for a few moments while we digested what was going on. I was in shock and nearly ready to cry at such horror...when an even greater horror occurred...those friends that had always presented themselves as good honest God fearing Muslims...who made me proud to be called a friend because of their piety and its affect on me and my behavoir etc...were suddenly clapping and cheering at the carnage that was filling the screen. Human beings celebrating the mass killing of other human beings...how did we come to this?
I might have thought it was a limited reaction had I not lived over here...and seen with my own eyes the continued celebration that went on for several days by a large portion of the community...it was only days later when the killers were determined to be Arab/Muslims as well that some sense of somberness finally started to take over and people started acting like one would expect...shocked at murder...as we should be. While I will not characterize all Muslims as a reflection on what I seen over here...my respect for them certainly took a huge hit on Sept 11...and not because they apparently flew airplanes into buildings...but because those that watched it...accepted it as a "they deserved it" consequence...who are "they" and why did they deserve to die in such a way? hmmmm?
coolred38: I will tell you what, I was watching TV when it happened (Sabrina the teenage witch yaay) and they interrupted the programme to show that. I was like "great, another Israeli attack on Palestinians" as that was the norm at that time, so when it turned out to be some plane crash in the US I felt a bit better...for once its not news on Palestinians getting killed. I know horrible but you have to put things in perspective. I am sure many Middle Easterners felt that way as well and it took a while to realise the magnitude of this terrorist act.
Coolred said: ...when an even greater horror occurred...those friends that had always presented themselves as good honest God fearing Muslims...who made me proud to be called a friend because of their piety and its affect on me and my behavoir etc...were suddenly clapping and cheering(for what could have been an attack on YOU personally)
So, you have to wonder which offense is a worse kick in the gut? A few stupid teenagers or ignorant hick strangers in pain and shock yelling at a hijabi to go back home or multitudes of supposed intelligent and pious Muslims, who pretend to be your friends to your face, cheering for your people's demise? Hmmm...I don't know...
I'm so glad that you shared this... Too often during reflections of 9/11 people are only told one side of the emotions of that day. Many Americans did unite that day, some for the right reasons, but many for very wrong reasons. Arab men and women were blamed for things that they had nothing to do with. People who didn't "look" American were targeted. Things got out of hand, way out of hand. There have been many, many times since 9/11 that I have been ashamed to be American and be associated with the behaviors of those who acted out stupidly and inhumanly.
I would like to think that things are getting better with time, but maybe that is just my wishful thinking.
Organica,
This doesn't sound like you, and Im really sad that that's the legacy left for you, personaly in the wake of 9/11.
In my reccolection there was anger a couple of days after 9/11 folowed by everybody being extra nice to muslims in the community. most of America was absolutley horrified by the acts of violence towards muslims and individuals who resembled them.
America didn't unite to hate you, your people, or your religion. THat sentiment came much later, courtesy of Bush, the Neocons, Extremist idiots who the Mainstream muslim community refused to shout down, and Australian Rupert Murdoch's Fox News.
Muslims didn't help themselves too much either in the months and years following. We have a serious PR problem, and too many nut cases burnng effigies in the streets over teddy bears or tasteless cartoons while the mainstream sits idly by, refusing to speak out against it. Much of what Arabs and Muslims suffer is brought upon ourselves.
just my two cents. Great post.
Ali you know what I think when I read comments like yours??? I think how much I'm sick of hearing about the palestinian issue. There are so many people in so many other countries being killed in the same way palestinians are. I wonder why no outrage over them as well. I don't know why this issue seems to be(in some muslims' minds) the determining factor in how good of a muslim you are.
People have shoved this down our throat so much we can't take it anymore. What about the muslims in other parts of the world? Where is our outrage? Why aren't we marching for them? Why aren't we wearing pretty little scarves around our neck for them? While I am sympathetic to their situation(my first muslim friend ever was palestinian and was shipped off to ramallah to get married in 2001), I will never relish in the death of thousands of people because of what happens to palsetinians.
As-Salaamu 'alaikum,
@Ali: were the stories about Palestinians dancing in the streets authentic? The footage they showed may have been of people celebrating, but it could have been library footage for all we know.
As for "my 9/11", I was as shocked and appalled as anyone, but my sympathies were drained somewhat by knowing that many, many people would die and that innocent Muslims would be targets of aggression by stupid Americans (and others), and my suspicions have been largely confirmed.
UmmAbdurRahma: Sorry you feel like that.. I guess.As a person who grew up in an Arabic middle eastern country, that's whats on the news ALL the time. In my opinion that could be due to two reasons: 1) They're fellow Arabs and the "Arabic nationalism" urges muslims/arabs to hlep them while it doesn't cover other arabs. 2) The opponent is Israel(=Jews), I don't know about you but in school we grew up getting taught that Jews = bad people..
Actually just thought of another one, Palestinian who were forced to leave Palestine are in dispersed in every country (had many classmates) so there is more compassion.
indigojo_uk: snopes is your friend
http://www.snopes.com/rumors/cnn.asp
I only heard about it (didn't see the footage) but wouldn't surprise me as many arabs/muslims still consider the 9/11 attackers "martyrs" sigh.
Ali, Where were those proud arab nationalists when Algerians were fighting to end 135 years of oppression by the french? Was it okay because they were christian and not muslim? What about those one million people who died for their freedom?
They won their independence and restored their dignity without any "compassion" or help from the rest of their arab bretheren. I would say they are one of the only, if not only, examples of arab people who successfully liberated themselves from their opressors and they did so on their own.
I went to a catholic school and I was taught that we are all God's children. I'm muslim now. Allah says in the quran that he made us into different tribes and nations so that we may prosper. I don't look at every jew and think bad. We will all have a reckoning with our lord and will be called to account for our actions. I will not be happy for someone else dying a painful death because someone else died a painful death as well. Even in islam we are told that it is better to forgive. It is acceptable to fight, but preferred to forgive.
Assalamu `alaykum,
I don't know why this wasn't reported at all, but many people "cheered" though not publicly because of 9-11 in Latin America.
I was there working at at UN center and was shocked at the "ha, that will show them" attitude that many of the people I spoke to had.
And these were not Muslims or arab, these were just people angry at the US for their oppression all over Latin America.
However, I always found it strange that this was never reported in international news media.
- I think many countries and people from the Middle East and other regions of the world don't wish the American Government well simply because of the U.S's foreign policies and horrible reputation. America is the intruder and violator in their eyes. Now, I don't think any Middle Easterner will wish harm upon an American citizen. This is evident in how thousands of foreigners enjoy a safe and nice life in the different countries. Sometimes these foreigners are treated even better than the Middle Easterners themselves. So, we must put that in perspective when thinking of the reaction of some Middle Easterners. Of course it's wrong, but it's also only fair to look at where people are coming from and why they act the way they do.
If they danced with joy, it was because they rejoiced in the fact that America was humiliated for once. Not that thousands of innocents lost their lives. I don't think anyone made a connection. It was just a detail.
One of my favorite books I've read on the Palestinian issue is called Victory for Us is to See You Suffer. The title represents truly how Arabs feel about their enemies. A stray bullet to America is better than none. They consider themselves helpless (they are not united and don't have the resources to fight back).
The issue with the Jews? Yes. Some Middle Easterners have mistakenly generalized their hatred to all Jews instead of focusing on the intruders of Palestinian land: The Zionist.
Most former colonized Arab countries had to fight for their independence. And at the time, the Arab nation did somewhat unite to fight a common tyrant, The British Empire. Even at some point in the 1960's, Egypt and Syria became one country.
There are a lot of double standards in our world and a lot of talk and no walk. It's something the entire world suffers from, not only the ME.
The Palestinian issue is complex because it involves a holy place for Muslims. The Masjid Al Aqsa belongs to the Muslims and by Allah Muslims are not even allowed to pray in it without a permit these days! The Muslims were uprooted from their homes so others could take over. This is a big issue that still remains unresolved. I think the Palestinian issue might receive the most media but that doesn't mean that issues with Muslims from all over the world is any less.
I feel your frustration, sadness, despondence and yet some sense of hope. On this day I discovered that I would suddenly become an expert on Islam as people asked how “my people” could have done this? I discovered the need to justify my faith – to explain the beauty in Islam and have returned to me looks of scepticism. I discovered an abundance of tears for buildings worth of innocent people who truly did not deserve to die. I flinched with pain (and made silent dua) at hearing how a young girl walking through the shopping with her hijab had a young man walk up to her and openly slap her across the face all because she was Muslim. I discovered a sense of irony in George W Bush’s notion of “your either with us or against us”. I became more of an outsider; stopped at the airport for my last name… suddenly become one of the others… also told to go home… me – an Arab Australian Muslim… who was born here, educated here and spoke like them, worked hard, paid taxes and voted. I discovered that suddenly we had all been painted with the same brush.
Ah somebody said middle easterners? Just bcs they mentioned my herritage, i had to come up with an interesting point that i noticed in "all" mid-east countries i traveled or lived.
Oh yes, Mid-Eastern people hate US government. Of course, they maybe got shocked for the insidence of 9/11. But at heart some of them said:"That's God punishment over such a kafeer devil!" ..
Ahem! But just going to street, asking people, yes, "most" of them are dying to have american green card! :)
You offer them, they just fly, They're ready to sell everything for that.. ;)
No offence actually.. Just truth.. That's my herritage too, this dearest full-of-conflict mid east.. :)
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